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French Cinema Nudity is updated
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* Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).
* White asterisk:
expanded format.
*
Blue asterisk: not mine.
No asterisk: it probably
sucks.
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OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe
version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles,
here.
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Cloak & Shag Her
(2008)
Cloak & Shag Her is a softcore spy spoof. Shooting was actually completed
in 2002, but when it was loaded on the AVID for editing, the editor could not
make enough sense out of it to begin working. Turns out it had been loaded
backwards. It was shelved for 5 years, and then dusted off and cut together
with a little stock footage and some simple effects. The film is finally due
for release on January 29th, 2008 in a special two disk edition. The package
includes a CD soundtrack, commentary from the writer/director, producer and
photographer, a "behind the scenes short," and more.
It stars Julian Wells as the spy. She and her sidekick are sent to the future to combat Dr. Mean (Darian Caine) who,
with the help of her clone Bitters (CJ DiMarsico) and Nurse Notsonice (AJ
Khan), is out to make sure yuppies will
rule, and that there will be no chance of a revival of the flower children.
The running time consists of jokes and girl/girl sex or, to word it another
way, everything important in life, and at least 104% of your minimum daily
entertainment requirements.
This is a chance to see these women, some of whom are no longer performing
in front of the camera, back in their primes, in previously unseen footage. All of the women in the cast have natural
breasts, and nobody takes the film too seriously. As many of the principals said in
the feature length commentary, it is bad,
but in a good way. The costumes and psychedelic designs will take you back to
the 60s, and you don't have to invest too many brain cells to follow this one.
Recommended to fans of the actresses and lovably bad movies.
Not listed on IMDb.
AJ Khan, Darian Caine, Julian Wells and CJ DiMarsico all show everything.
Ruby LaRocca, as April Flowers' assistant, shows breasts, as does an unknown
in an insert.
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Blood Sisters
(1987)
This one is a little light on the nudity.
Amy Brentano reveals her more than ample breasts.
Gretchen Kingsley shows off her "Tiny Tots".
Dunsmore
(2003)
Speaking of "Tiny Tots", here's a little bonus of Alicia Lagano
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Notes and collages
The Ballad of Cable Hogue
Part 12 of 13
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Epic Movie
This 2007 comedy spoofs all the recent blockbusters, and if you're into
goofy parodies, satire, and general silliness, you'll like it, but to me
it was simply dumb.
Four orphans that you'll recognize from different movies are tricked
into a nutty chocolate factory, and they escape from the clutches of an
evil Willy Wonka only to stumble into more adventures in the land of
Gnarnia.
You'll see plenty of characters that you'll instantly recognize, from
X-Men, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry Potter, and many more, so if this
kind of spoof is your cup of tea, enjoy.
Scoop's note: I don't really know much about
Audra Lynn, but this definitely has to go in the annual nominees for best
nude scene!
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| Audra Lynn |
Carmen
Electra |
Heather
Storm |
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Film Clips
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The Comedy Wire
Danny Bonaduce wants to show the world his genitals. The former "Partridge
Family" star was embarrassed recently when a nude photo of him circulated on the
Internet, showing his unimpressively small manhood. Bonaduce wants to prove
that the photo was misleading by appearing in a nude photo spread in Penthouse.
VH1 is said to be unhappy with his plans, since he's already signed to work with
kids on their upcoming reality show, "I Know My Kid's A Star."
* Because what parent wouldn't want his kid to grow up to
be just like Danny Bonaduce?
E-Poll Market Research surveyed American children to ask them
who should be on Santa's Naughty and Nice lists. Young kids picked Hannah
Montana (Miley Cyrus) as the nicest, while teenagers put Angelina Jolie atop the
"Nice" list. The "Naughty" list was headed by Britney Spears and Paris Hilton,
who beat out Lindsay Lohan, the Grinch and Darth Vader.
* Paris Hilton topped the kids' "Naughty" list and the teenage boys' "Niiiiiiiice"
list.
Entertainment Weekly did a really unusual list: the 50 Smartest People in
Hollywood. #1 was "Knocked Up" writer/director Judd Apatow, followed by Steven
Spielberg and James Cameron. The highest-ranked actor was Will Smith at #5.
Most were executives, directors, producers or agents, but George Clooney was
#13, Will Ferrell #17, Ben Stiller #20, Johnny Depp #21, Jodie Foster #30,
Angelina Jolie #33 and Ben Affleck #50.
* Who was #49, Lassie?
* This was originally called "The 100 Smartest People in Hollywood," but when
Ben Affleck came in at #50, they gave up.#51 would've been that CGI chipmunk
from "Enchanted."
* This should be called "The 50 Celebrities Who Were Smart Enough to Hire Great
PR Agents."
* Being named the smartest person in Hollywood is a real honor. It's like being
named the most honest person in Washington, DC.
Pamela Anderson is 40, and she's already nearing retirement. Anderson said she
gets movie and TV offers all the time, but she's lazy and turns them down. She
now figures, "Five more years of (T&A), and I'll go back to Canada. I've got
some land. It'll be time."
* She'll be the only retiree whose friends don't run when
she offers to show her home movies.
British teacher Gillian Gibbons, who was facing up to 40 lashes in Sudan for
letting her kids name the class teddy bear "Mohammed," was convicted on a lesser
charge, sentenced to 15 days in jail and
deportation.
* I'm sure having to leave Sudan is the
worst punishment of all.
On this day in 1977, in one of the oddest duets in music history, David Bowie
sang "Little Drummer Boy" with Bing Crosby on Crosby's
Christmas TV special.
* Bing's only thought was, "My, Dorothy Lamour's wearing
WAY too much makeup!"
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