When the Directors Cut was announced, I ignored it, as I didn't much like the film. It wasn't until Scoopy capped it that I realized that it was a director's cut, and had additional footage, so I ordered it. When the first copy arrived, it was damaged in shipping, and had to be exchanged. By the time the replacement arrived, I had lost my enthusiasm for it again, and put it in the to do someday stack. After so many bad films and soft-cores this month, it suddenly looked like fun. The project was well worth the effort for several reasons. The transfer was orders of magnitude better than the original release. The additional nudity included Douglas with most of his face buried in Stone's crotch and other delights, and there was a feature length commentary with Verhoeven and DP Jan de Bont. The commentary let me enjoy the film this time, by focusing on the technical excellence, and ignoring the logic problems in the script.

The images are a serious upgrade to my earlier effort, not just because of the additional footage, but also because of the better transfer, and the fact that I have learned much since I first did it. I hope you enjoy this new set. This project brings up a question. Is it a better use of my time to revisit earlier projects when I can greatly improve the images, or cap a new soft-core full of nobodys, when those are the two choices? If any of you have a strong feeling one way or the other, please drop me an e-mail. Also, there may be DVDs in my collection that I have not done that you would like to see. You may browse my database on the Web and make suggestions.

Public service department. If you haven't seen the complete transcript of the Osama tape, here it is. No kidding. this is the real thing, and it is frightening - not just that he said what he said, but that he said it with full knowledge that the camera was rolling.

Two movies today, take your pick.

All substance. No style. The Waterdance.

It's here! The Waterdance. This film has been in the top ten on our DVD wish list. It's a pretty good film, but that's not why we wanted the DVD, as you may imagine. Five words: Helen Hunt young and naked.

• Helen Hunt (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

• Barbara Alyn Woods

• Jennifer Ryan and/or Adriana Barbor

All style. No substance. Moulin Rouge

It has been a bittersweet year for Nicole Kidman. The bitter: her marriage crumbled publicly, the tabloids obtained unflattering transcripts of her phone calls with Cruise, and a satirical character came all too close to her own life story in "America's Sweethearts".

The sweet: she may get nominated for both "Best Actress" categories in the Golden Globes. Comedy/musical for this film, drama for "The Others". In a way, it has really been her year. This film proves that she is a first magnitude star.

Moulin Rouge is an absolute stylistic masterpiece, but beneath that basically a Marx Brothers film, in color, without Groucho. Ewan MacGregor is a perfect Zeppo. They look and sound alike. John Leguizamo (as Toulouse-Lautrec!!) is a perfect straight-haired Chico, in both appearance and humor. The Harpo duties are rotated among various people. It is a good movie, but would have been a great movie with a Groucho, who is (after all) integral to the formula. 

Kidman was great in this - a tall, thin, redheaded MM.

• Nicole Kidman. I only did the brief Kidman nudity. I have a feeling the Big Fish will splash around in this one tomorrow. No nudity in the last one. (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Honte's site is updated

Will Smith announced yesterday that, in order to play Mohammed Ali, he followed Ali's training regimen and went a year without sex.

* Hell, they could have sped up filming by a year and hired me on-the-spot. I've been in lifetime training for that role.

* I'm glad Will wasn't cast as Genghis Khan. Think of the filming delay while he scourged Europe to prepare for the role.

* For his next role, I suggest we hire Will to play Marcel Marceau.

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And let us not forget the worst show in the history of television, The Abominable Showman, because it is important to remember not only the best of the way we were, but also the way we wish we had never been.

Jennifer Gimenez flashes the goodies at the Royal Tenenbaum premiere (second picture will do the trick)

First up, "Student Nurses" (1970). A sexploitation flick produced by Roger Corman that Maltin actually watched, wrote semi-decent review, and awarded 2 1/2 stars. Not too shabby for a drive-in tittie-flick.

>From NY Post Page Six:

BRITNEY Spears will bare her bodacious bod for animal rights in an upcoming PETA campaign. PAGE SIX has learned the songstress has agreed to peel down for a PETA poster that should be available by Christmas. "It's very exciting news," said PETA mouthpiece Dan Mathews. "We are really thrilled to have Britney join our new crop of fur-fighters."

It's an animal-rights about-face for Spears, who was slammed by PETA for performing at the MTV Awards with a caged tiger on stage.

Mathews, who at the time begged Britney to consider "the plight of captive wild animals caged and forced to tolerate bright lights, crowds and frightening levels of noise," says the songbird has changed her tune.

"A few weeks after we wrote her, we were sent a letter saying Britney had abandoned using animals on tour," Mathews said.

"She took our message to heart. There's so many different animal issues, and you can't expect that everyone is born Ghandi. We think Britney has set a great example of someone who listened to what we had to say and made a change."

Britney has also signed on to model faux-leather duds on PETA's pleatheryourself.com Web site. "It's a lot of fetish wear but also non-leather shoes, belts and bags," Mathews said. "Patricia Field is designing some outfits for the site."

PETA's current "I'd Rather Go Naked Than Wear Fur" poster girl is actress Dominique Swain, who was snapped nude writing "I Will Not Wear Fur" on a blackboard - a sly reference to her role as a jailbait seductress in "Lolita."

But one of PETA's original pin-ups, Naomi Campbell, has continued her fall from grace in the eyes of animal rights activists. Campbell, who was fired from the campaign after she wore fur on the catwalk, was stopped from entering Spa the other night when she showed up wearing a fur coat.

When the doorman informed her of the nightclub's no-fur policy, Campbell argued with him and pointed out he was wearing leather. Eventually, Campbell agreed to leave her fur outside and was allowed in. She sat with pal Sean "Puffy" Combs, who wears fur and designs with fur, and his now-friendly ex, Kim Porter.

Informed of Campbell's latest fur-paux, Mathews bared his fangs. "I think anybody who knows Naomi knows she is a problem and is often incoherent," he said. "We're just glad we've got so many other people that have hearts and have souls, really." Meow-ouch!

Next month, Spa and Centro-Fly - which has also adopted a no-fur policy - are throwing parties for PETA to coincide with Spears' and Swain's eye-catching campaigns.

>From Cindy Adams column, NY Post:

JOHN STAMOS and his missus, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, argued about her "Femme Fatale" reshoots. Brian DePalma's movie, which wrapped over Thanksgiving in Paris, has jazzy sex scenes with Antonio Banderas. She plays a con woman trying to go straight. He plays a reporter tracking her down. They play lots of games - none of them Scrabble - in bed. The reshoots concern more mattress scenes. As is par for the course, there were gossipy rumors about the married Antonio and the married Rebecca.