Close-up of woman looking rather the worse for wear. She asks for a cigarette. As she lights it, pan back to show that she is in a police interrogation room. Someone asks her to tell them what happened:

She: "I don't know where to begin ..."
He: "How about at the beginning?"

At this point, that would normally have been the last word I heard as I hit eject. Which of the hundreds of possibilities was this the trite beginning of? A soft-core called Sexual Malice. Short version of plot ... bored housewife finds passion and trouble in the arms of another man. Christine (Diana Barton) is a well-paid account manager at an accounting firm, and her husband teaches at a local college. The passion has been gone from their marriage for a long time. She still loves him. Based on his performance, I think he had been dead for several years before this was made.

Her best friend talks her into going to a conference in Santa Barbara to take her mind off of her troubles, and they end up at a male strip club. Christine's friend notices that one particular stud makes Christine's groin quiver, and raises the relative humidity in her nickers. Christine finds what she has been missing when her friend slips her hotel key card into that dancer's jock strap. They have a torrid affair, but her life crumbles when she is arrested for his murder. IMDB readers have this at 2.4/10, but that is the normal film scale. After adjustment for the soft-core factor, it is more like a 5.5/10. Christine has some acting ability, and was pretty hot, despite the sex being relatively tame. If you are in the mood to waste some time on a soft-core, this one will probably work.

Kind of a shit movie, but with some bright stuff stuck in the midst of it. Best of all, lots of Blair Brown Breasts and Buns

From 1979, another German flick. Aka "Graf Dracula beibt jetzt auch in Oberbayen." This is a really cool flick. Really really cool. It starts off as a cross between a Bavarian lederhosen movie and an American scream flick and metamorphosizes into a campy Rocky Horror/Warhol kinda thingamajobber. I was very surprised at how funny it is. Often times, humor does not translate across languages and cultures but it sure did here. There were a bunch of great one-liners which make light of the vampire/undead thing ("I wanna get fanged!" "Get those two deadbeats back here!" "We have our own deaths to live!") which makes me wonder if the excellent humor is part of the original German language script or if some clever enterprising translator made the thing funnier in the English language version. I mean, really...do you think there's a German language equivalent for "deadbeat?" Maybe there is, I don't know...you tell me...

I didn't really take notice of the director, one Carl Schenkel, until I got ready to make this post. I thought I'd check IMDb and see if he'd directed some of the other great German softcore flicks. Imagine my surprise when I see that he directed one of my favorite little semi-unknown gems of a movie: "The Mighty Quinn." Yeah, the one with Denzel Washington as a Jamaican cop. He also directed that Jane March Tarzan movie. So dammit! that must give at least a little legitimacy to my favorite genre!

Back to the movie...We start off with some nosey Bavarian Alps small village community "do-gooders" snooping around the old castle trying to figure out why Boris (the castle caretaker) is stealing blood from the blood bank. They also want to find some incriminating evidence to prevent the castle owner Stan from opening a discotheque in the castle. What they find is two hooded and caped but topless mysterious female executioners getting ready to torture and execute a hot topless Linda Grondier. What they don't realize, as they flee the castle, is that Count Stan is a softporn photog and the gals are models playing out a scene for Stan's photoshoot. Linda Grondier's the victim and Georgina Steer and Laurence Kaeserman are the topless evil torture chickees...

I must say I'm pretty happy with these caps. Haven't done VHS in a while and was kind of dreading doing them. I've gotten PSP7 and am quite impressed with it. If you like the quality of these caps then I'd credit PSP7. It's an old vid and I haven't changed my VCR or my vid card so.... Linda Grondier is pretty hot in these pics. She's a model in Stan's shoots but she's also Stan's girlfriend. Stan opened up a disco in the basement of his castle and Linda was dancing around getting all sweaty. Time to take a shower and go to bed! If you're wondering what all that red shit is on her tits, she painted her breasts red in lieu of wearing a top. Good idea! 'Cept you have to take a shower before bed...as she's doing here. Hot.

I don't know if Linda ever made another movie. She's not listed in the IMDb. Getting out of the shower she just misses getting fanged by Dracula!

Linda goes into her bedroom and paints her toenails (for you pervs). Dracula enters the room but as he's Stan's ancestor, he looks exactly like Stan. Linda can't tell the difference! Does she get bit? Linda Grondier's tits and her toes (for the pervs)...

This was Betty Verges' last movie. Unfortunately, she was kind of reserved, for her anyway. She played the Countess vampire lady. They even had her all made up to look like crap (first frame) but after she sucked a little (blood that is) she regained her youthful bloom (last frame). Vampire titties.

Georgina Steer and Laurence Kaeserman, along with Bea Fiedler and Linda Grondier, decide to get a little sun. The town dorks come along and steal their clothes.

Then they take their revenge by stealing the dorks' car and drive around town naked flashing their goodies for all the good townspeople.

The movie takes a left turn when Stan decides to take advantage of the presence of the Count and Countess by turning the disco into Hotel Dracula. A place where weird fetishists come to from all over Europe to get "fanged." Yup, the Count and the Countess would go from room to room drinking the blood of the guests, who'd get off on it. There was a long ass nude sex scene with vampire sexmonger Betty Verges freakin' two guys (one at a time perv) but it was so poorly lit and shitty looking that this is all you get, a very small montagey of caps of Betty's darkly lit titties. At the end of the flick, Betty and the Count decide they're basically no better than whores and take the coach to Transylvania...