Je suis une nymphomane (1970), or I am a Nymphomaniac, is the most popular (at the time) exploitation film, and earned star Sandra Julien 10 roles between 1970 and 1975, as well as a trip to Japan. Then, she dropped out of sight. She was the straightlaced daughter of a strict father until she fell down an elevator shaft after which she had an uncontrollable sexual hunger. Her father caught her with her boyfriend, and through her out of the house, sending her to live with his sister, who ends up being a bisexual swinger. Daddy also convinces Jullien that she is a nymphomaniac.

She has no sooner arrived in Paris than Auntie (Janine Reynaud) seduces her, and then shares her with a customer. Her misadventures continue until she meets a doctor who cares.

Both women show everything, and there are several body parts shown in a mild orgy scene. There are not enough votes at IMDB to assign any relevance to them, and no reviews. I screened a UK all region PAL, the transfer was decent, and there were interviews, slide galleries and cast bios in the special features. The biggest negative was the dubbing to English, but even that wasn't as bad as usual, as much of the dialogue was actually voice-over. This does not have enough simulated sex and nudity to satisfy the current soft-core fan, but is worth a watch for those who remember the era and attitudes. C-.

Babs in the Buff

I don't exactly know why, but it seems that every American issue of The Owl and The Pussycat features pixelation and blur where Streisand's bubbies ought to be. I've looked at it in VHS and DVD, no luck so far.

Fortunately for us, Graphic Response found a full-screen version of this film (European version??) which includes the Babs Breasts without any pixelation.

If Miss Streisand has been behind the blurring conspiracy, she should quit it, because the fact is she had a very attractive and firm set of gazongas. Now her face - maybe that could use a little blurring.

• Streisand

OTHER SADDAMY CRAP:

• This is the first picture of the stinking hole where Saddam Hussein was found cowering.
• Gallup Poll Analyses. Americans consider Saddam capture "Major Achievement," war support unchanged, major jump in confidence of positive outcomes, slight gain for Bush re-electability.
• Saddam's favorite menu item: Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, Mars Bars, and Spam.
• The Democratic Candidates comment on and/or try to spin Saddam's capture. My favorite comment came from John Kerry, who said, "pretty fuckin' cool"!
• President Bush promised a "fair" trial for Saddam Hussein, 'a torturer and a killer' Well, it'll be almost fair, with the minor exception of a foregone conclusion that he's a murderer and torturer. The President did not specify whether the fair trial would occur before or after Saddam's public execution.
• President Bush promises Saddam the outward appearance of a fair trial before his conviction. Saddam's court-appointed attorney, Bill O'Reilly, has promised to do everything possible "to provide Saddam the defense he deserves"
• There is already a "Captured Saddam" action figure.
• Saddam Captured, as pictured by editorial cartoonists.
• TIME.com: TIME Exclusive: Notes from Saddam in Custody

OTHER OTHER CRAP:

• The trailer for HELLBOY
• Woman Snatches Victory In XPGames: "You think the X-Games are extreme? They're nothing compared to an event called 'the XPGames. That's the name of an unusual athletic competition in Southeast Asia where women compete to do the most amazing stunts with their sex organs."
• FreakingNews.com - latest photoshop contest: "Photoshop characters of LOTR in real life, OR put politicians/celebrities in LOTR movie."
• The semi-finals at the douchebag of the year contest.
• Dark Horizons Interviews Jennifer Connelly for "House of Sand & Fog"
• URL says it all: DVDEasterEggs.com
• Your one-stop shop for headgear pyramids.
• ESPN.com - The 10 worst sports decisions of 2003
• Penelope Cruz says Tom Cruise gets '10' for sex!
• Mickey Mouse resigns from Disney. In his press conference, the little rodent shuffled his feet shyly, lowered his eyes, and cited "egregious mismanagement, heh, heh"
• Van Helsing already has an official website staked out - pretty cool little start.
• What are you putting under your pillow for the Stool Fairy? Oh, sure, everyone loves that saucy dental tart, but ...
• Prince Charles confuses Nicole Kidman with Kate Winslet. He must have been seeing double.
• Queere eye for thye medieval guy
• The 50 Worst names for Sexual Positions
• Whatever happened to .... Winona Ryder? She has been quietly complying with the terms of her probation, and trying to get her life together.
• Cool video of a squirrel-proof bird feeder.
• Do you think ESPN may be overhyping Michael Vick a little?
• The World Adult Kickball Association. For those who think dodgeball is a little too mature.
• Study: Beautiful Women Make Men Stupid. Oh, those scientists, is there no breakthrough which eludes them?
• "Action" figures from A Christmas Story.
• National Geographic picks their top news stories of 2003
• Normally a champion of arty, independent fare, the New York Film Critics Circle on Monday chose 'The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King' as the top film of 2003. BUT - just to show they haven't changed their stripes - they did not choose Peter Jackson as the best director! (Sofia Coppola - Lost in Translation)
• The solemn and holy celebration of Festivus.
• Private Eye Jake Kresky - gone but not forgotten . Not remembered either, come to think of it.
• Famous women in slips.
• Great nostalgia site - the theme songs from all the great Westerns of the '55-'65 era.
• New version of Peter Pan restores the original darker themes. I had forgotten about the part where Wendy gets her toe cut off by her fellow nihilists, and I really enjoy the part where Hook and Smee discuss what to call a Quarter Pounder in France.
• The Supreme Court said Monday it will settle a fight over whether Vice President Dick Cheney must disclose details about secret contacts with energy industry officials. Cheney's counter-argument is that if this is forced into the open, people may be unwilling to offer him sleazy deals and kickbacks in the future for fear the comments will become public. (I'm not kidding: that really is his argument, except he calls "sleazy deals and kickbacks" by another term - "candid advice".)
• Does the Constitution guarantee the right to use and sell sexual devices?
• How TV has treated sex through the years.
• Stock-market pundits predict that an IPO could give Google a market value between fifteen and twenty-five billion dollars, and resuscitate the entire IPO market.
• Scholars see Christian values in Tolkien's 'Lord of the Rings'
• Vin talks about the sequel to Pitch Black, and shows ET the set.
• School pictures of the Hilton sisters.
• Greek exhibit features man having sex with fruits. This may not be exactly what you expect. We're talkin' watermelon fuckin'.
• A burglar has been jailed after stealing an entire kitchen, including the sink, from an unoccupied house and installing it in his own home.
• Halliburton Co. said Friday that it is moving closer to filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection for its DII Industies and Kellogg, Brown & Root subsidiaries.
• The 10 most overpaid jobs in the U.S.
• Stuff magazine's tribute to Rachel Hunter
• Looking for a gift idea? The Jesus Ashtray.
• The 2003 "Overexposed" Awards. Somebody beat out Bennifer and Paris Hilton.
• Sarah Michelle Gellar will topline The Grudge, the English-language remake of the Japanese horror thriller Ju-On.

Other crap archives. May also include newer material than the ones above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for inclusion in Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Junior or Brainscan, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

Watchful Eye (2002) is a remake of sorts of the Sharon Stone/William Baldwin movie entitled, Sliver. In Sliver, Billy Baldwin wires the apartment building so that he can spy on his tenants. Why? He really, really likes to watch.

In Watchful Eye, a couple of guys wire the So Cal condos they own because they have this plan to sell the videos on the web. Good plan, guys. No one will ever learn they are on the videos and even if they do this stuff is perfectly legal. Perfectly. Uh huh.

So the movie makers have to fill the place with great looking women. Let's see, who shall we get? A former Hefmate, a former Pet, a couple of crossover pornabees, a first-timer and a veteran B-movie babe. Should just about do it. We'll film em stripping and showering and doing the nasty... with guys and with one another. Sounds like a winner.

I sent in caps of the former Hefmate (Julie Lynn Cialini) and the former Pet (Juliet Cariaga) around Thanksgiving. Appropriately enough, then, today we have the leftovers.

First and foremost is the veteran B movie babe, Renee Rhea. I 'capped this babe in Embrace the Darnkess II. Liked her then. Really liked her in this one. a real cutie. Triple B performance, too.

• Renee Rhea (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

First timer is Melissa Barmes (yes, that is Barmes, not Barnes). Woman started with some righteous equipment. Did a little after-market add-on and voila! The scene of her coming out the pool, starkers (first collage), is worth the price of admission. But guys, do not expect to see her again because, sadly, she gives the single worst acting performance I have ever sat through. And when you think of the movies I have watched, that is saying something.

• Melissa Barmes (1, 2, 3, 4)

The crossovers from babes in pornland are Kristal Summers and Nikki Fairchild. I capped Nikki before in Sex Court: The Movie and have asked The Gimp if he wouldn't mind capping her in some on-screen action of the real sort. She's a babe. Both gals come with what seems to be pornstar standard equipment...roughly 20 pounds of silicone.

• Kristal Summers
• Nikki Fairchild (1, 2)

Speaking of silicone, fitness model Nissa Hall does some stripping and kissing and nekkid posing in this movie.

First collage has ber kissing Nikki and another gal. Wait, that gal has a beard. It's a dude!! With cute little ringlets falling down over his shoulders. Isn't that precious? In my best Gilbert Gottfried voice, allow me to ask, What the Fuck? Right after this movie, they held a "Welcome Back from the 60's" party for the guy. Sheesh.

• Nissa Hall (1, 2)

So that's it. Lot's of babes, not much plot. Clearly, someone has stumbled onto a formula for making these DTV things, which includes pretty much the same cast members from one movie to the next. So long as they keep getting nekkid, and one of them is Ms. Rhea, I am not about to complain.

Emily Bergl
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)