Monday


Notes
NOTE TO ALL: Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his daily column, Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

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Tuna
"Jerry MaGuire" (1996)

Jerry MaGuire (1996) starts off looking like a comedy about a sports agent, and problem clients, but quickly becomes a morality play, a romance, and a lesson on what is important in life. Jerry MaGuire (Tom Cruise) is a sports promoter who has an Epiphany of conscience when a clients 9 your old son tells him to fuck off for not telling his father to quit football after 10 serious concussions, then a hockey star he represents refuses to sign a kids sports card because he has an agreement with another trading card company. He writes a "mission paper" suggesting that fewer clients, more concern for the clients, and less emphasis on profit would be a much more humane way to do business. After his engagement party (to Kelly Preston, the only exposure), he is fired.

He manages to keep one client (Cuba Gooding Jr.), and one lower level employee who was impressed by his mission paper leaves with him. The employee (Renée Zellweger) has a young son, a dead husband, and a well-meaning sister. The bulk of the film involves MaGuire's relationship with Gooding and Zellweger. It is several cuts above the normal romantic comedy fluff that we see from mainstream Hollywood, and manages to say a lot while it entertains. Cuba Gooding Jr. won best actor, and the film received three other nominations. IMDB readers say 7.3/10, Maltin and Berardinelli say 3 1/2 and Ebert awards 3 stars. It was a box office success with a US gross of $153.62m. Many consider it the best Cruise performance ever, and it is certainly one of them.

  • Thumbnails

  • Kelly Preston (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

    "Cabaret" (1972)

    A friend of mine appeared in a college production of Cabaret, and I was invited (actually commanded) to attend a dress rehearsal. I was so moved by the play that I attended all four dress rehearsals, and all four productions. When I heard they were making the movie, I was excited, even more so when I heard they had cast Liza Minelli as Sally Bowles. Liza was the perfect choice. I was also glad to see the incredibly talented Joel Grey reprise his Broadway role. The film received rave reviews, and I rushed to see it, with higher expectations than when I waited in line for 5 hours to see Old Yeller. I despised the film. They kept exactly two characters from the play, deleted several of the best songs (Don't Tell Mama, The Miskite, Pineapples), and saved only a few plot elements. Sally Bowles was still a Cabaret singer, she still got pregnant, and she still traded a fur coat for an abortion. In short, the movie was not an adaption of the play in any sense of the word, and I felt cheated.

    After all this time, I decided to give it another chance. My initial reaction was the same, but I found that I could not criticize the film without mentioning the Broadway version. The film received 8 Oscars including Best Actress to Liza, and two other nominations. Every major critic loves it. Looking though the special features, I discovered that this was never meant to be an adaptation of the Broadway show. They used the same title, probably hoping for some box office help from fans of the play, but wrote an entirely different story based on the short stories used for the play. The themes are the same. Both are meant to show the decadence in 1930s Berlin that allowed Hitler to rise to power, and the beginnings of the anti-Semitic brutality. While the film relied on contrast of life in and out of the Cabaret and a romance between a landlady and a Jewish fruit peddler, the movie introduced Jewish lovers, a bisexual baron, cross-dressers and more "day glow" characters.

    So, was it a good film, or were all the critics wrong? The films only crime was in not being the play. The characters were developed, the performances were good to great, the songs were well integrated into the plot, and the production values were top notch. As you will see from the few images, it is a beautifully lit and photographed production. While there is no nudity, Liza had pokies several times in her stage costumes. Even though I can now see that it is a good film, see the play if you get a chance.

  • Thumbnails

  • Liza Minelli (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    A note on holiday scheduling. There will be an edition of the Fun House every day. This will mark our SIXTH Christmas Edition! Johnny Web's column may be missing a few days right around Christmas , because I'll be away from computers for six days, dec 22-27. I may get some done in advance, but not likely. Junior takes his working vacation in early January, but I'll cover that. Tuna will, I think, be here every day. The encyclopedia will not be updated until I get back from vacation on the 28th. Volume B proved to be a mammoth task - 1200 new pics to review, and the person who actually updates it is on vacation now, so a brief delay.

    I'm kinda low on my normal types of material. Waiting for some new stuff to come slowly through the Christmas mail, waiting for new arrivals Tuesday. Kind of in a lull.

    I've always said that when you reach the doldrums, you have to start rowing. Whatever that means. I don't know why I've always said that. Come to think of it, people have always given me strange looks and excused themselves right after I said it. Oh, well, the point is that sometimes you just have to recharge your batteries, and the best way to do that is to return to the screen classics. So I moseyed down to Blockbuster, hoping to watch some of the best soliloquys from Henry V. Someone had rented both versions of Henry, but while I was in the H's, I figured I should do the equally esteemed "The Hot Dog Girls". (Or to be politically correct, "the sausage-oriented individuals")

    Neither Olivier nor Branagh appeared in this movie, but there were plenty of naked chicks. It's like one of those videos from the Bunnymag, with the major difference being that we have permission to use these.

    Actually, it's pretty entertaining in its genre, whatever that might be called. Nudie-cutie? Just pretty girls running around naked in various situations: strip swimming, strip billiards, strip frisbee, strip weatherproofing, strip mining, the whole gamut of naked human activity. They are almost always naked, and they are sexy girls. The most famous one is Mason Marconi, former Penthouse babe with a great shaped butt.

    You can order it here. They call it a "bikini video", but it's a nudie, no question about it.

    A quick analysis of the most important criteria for movie evaluation shows me that this might be the greatest movie ever made, as good as two Henry V's added together (I guess that would mean Henry X, if my math is right). Here's how it stacks up against some four-star favorites.

      Hot Dog Girls Henry V, Branagh version Henry V, Olivier version Mansfield Park The Sweet Hereafter
    naked chicks playing frisbee yes no no no no
    easy to understand without Cliff Notes yes no no no sometimes
    naked chicks playing pool yes no no no no
    stirring speeches no yes yes no no
    musing on the futility and glory of war no yes yes no no
    naked chicks in the pool yes no no no no
    analysis of English mores no yes yes yes no
    naked chicks on the beach yes no no no no
    socio-political commentary no yes yes yes yes
    naked chicks doing calisthenics yes no no no no
    smutty hot dog symbolism yes no no, but* no no
    naked chicks showering together yes no no no no
    additional naked chicks yes no no yes yes
    TOTOTAL SCORE 9 4 4.5 3 2.5

    * uses cannons for the same purpose, so we counted it as half credit

     

    Here's the smut:

    Mason Marconi, the Hot Dog Girls (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Tonya Qualls, the Hot Dog Girls (1, 2, 3)

    additional sausage-oriented individuals at play

     

     

    Brainscan
    Comments by Brainscan:

    Tea Leoni Tea's plunging neckline was not the only one on the newswires last week; there were so many I stuck them together in a collage.

    The rest of today's stuff is made up of vidcaps.

    First I stuck together the caps Tuna had on Sunday of Kathy Shower and Sam Phillips in Sexual Malice. Love that Sam. And then we have my latest foray into capping with the 1977 New York Nights (there is another, 90's version that I will send along later in the week). The movie is a combined tag team and daisy chain in which A boffs B, who boffs C, who turns around and boffs A. Not worth the cost of the tape on which it was reproduced; except is has four nekkid babes, including former Penthouse Pet of the Year Corinne Alphen. Even then, the movie is disappointing because the lighting is atrocious. So, Junior, when you take over the Treasury Dept and forgive all taxes to babes who appear nekkid, you mind if I take over the MPAA and cut all nude scenes that are not perfectly lighted and shot with crystal clarity?

  • Kathy Shower
  • Sam Phillips

  • Bobbi Burns Bobbi starts out things in "New York Nights" with a rooftop nude scene you woulda thought might have some sunlight in it, but nooooo. Bobbi had her time as the source of gratuitous nudity but that was a long time ago.

    Corinne Alphen
    (1, 2)
    Corinne was a major babe in the days when Penthouse did not require its models to undergo cervical exams for all the world to see. In this scene she dances around... in her own bedroom.... in front of a geezer... who just sits there. Get in the game, asshole!

    Cynthia Lee Cynthia plays a prostitute; her first scene is shot in a swinger's club, lighted with a single 20 watt bulb. This scene has a bit more light and in it she does the nasty with the same old guy who just sat there when Corinne was stripping. Excuse me, but who wrote this crap?

    Missy O'Shea
    (1, 2)
    And we end with Missy O'Shea; she plays a woman given to some rough stuff. Missy is seriously nice looking, with a killer bod, but in the days before direct-to-video she made three movies and then just faded away. There ought to have been an outlet for a woman this attractive who doesn't mind shedding her clothes.
    Mongoose
    Comments by Mongoose:

    Diane Lane
    (1, 2, 3, 4)
    I did these the other day and wasn't going to post them because they suck so bad. But then I thought "What the hell." This movie "Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains," is mega rare and these caps are from a shitty bootleg copy. Paramount or somebody made this film for major theatrical release but then decided they didn't like it because it was too dark and cynical and so they shitcanned it. Apparently, from what I read on the web, the movie was only released in a small number on a tiny Canadian video label. It played on cable a few times in the 80s but that's about it.

    It's a great movie though! Especially if you have had any interest in the world of punk rock or the rock music biz at all. The really cool thing about the flick is that they accurately predicted the Riot Grrrl movement of a decade or so later. Nailed it. Diane Lane played Corinne "Third Degree" Burns who, along with her sister and her cousin (a young Laura Dern) form a really crappy 3 piece punk band and go on tour with a lame hasbeen glam/metal band and a Brit punk band (played by members of the Sex Pistols!) and started a teen girl empowerment movement. Instead of being called Riot Grrrls, they're called "Skunks." I think Riot Grrrl sounds better. This is, by far, the worst source I've ever capped from. By far. I don't even know why I did it. The rarity factor I guess.

    Zenguru
    Taking a break from his usual supermodel collages and offering up some excellent images of Filipina Celebrities

    Comments by Zen:

    Patricia Javier
    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

    One of my favorite sexy actress. From the film "Gusto ko ng Lumigaya" ( I want to be happy). These are not vidcaps, they are still photos taken while doing the scenes.

    Pricilla Almeda
    (1, 2, 3)
    Still Photos from .... I have no idea yet. Soon to be released new movie. She's a Filipina bold Actress. She's really gorgeous in person. I just recently saw her in Holiday Inn Manila. I can't help staring at her.
    ZonononZor
    Going back to some serous "Old School" celebs!

    Comments by Zon:

    Annette Kellerman Comments by Zon:
    Who??? Hehe, I doubt many of you have heard the name before and neither had I except for the fact that she's one of the first credited actresses to do nudity in a major motion picture. This frame is from "Daughter of the Gods" a silent film made back in 1916!

    Hedy Lamarr Yep, I got a new DVD in today that focuses on sex in early films. It's mostly non-nude images but there are some exceptions, including some fairly good quality nude footage of Hedy Lamarr from "Ecstasy".

    Mariln Monroe
    (1, 2)
    2 collges of dvd caps. Strangely, most of the Marilyn section was made up of still photos rather than movie scenes. Still enough for at least one more collage of her tho & plenty of other classic material to go. :)

    Theda Bara Silent film star & the original "vamp".
    Chumba
    Cameron Diaz

    Sarah Michelle Gellar

    Emma Harding

    After a bit of a break, Chumba returns with three excellent non-nudes.
    and ...
    Radha Mitchell
    (1, 2)

    Great vidcaps from the Sci-Fi/horror movie "Pitch Black" By The Night. #1 features some excellent down-shirt exposure from the Aussie actress.

    Ramona Drews
    (1, 2)

    Did anyone order a blonde with super huge, fake boobs? Vidcaps by UC99 from the Euro TV magazine show, "Blitz".

    Tania Kloek
    (1, 2)

    Vidcaps of the Belgian actress getting groped and felt up. (Woo-hoo!) The highlights are Close up bum in #1, and boobs in #2. Thanks to Cat Quasar for the huge 'caps.

    Charlize Theron
    (1, 2)

    By KZ...#1 is has lots o' leg. #2 has lots o' leg and partial breast exposure (or super cleavage depending on your definition).

    Rachael Leigh Cook
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Star of a few recent teen flicks, and of course the "This is your brain on heroin" commercials. No real skin, but KZ has done 4 excellent scans of the young actress in bikini tops.

    Arielle Dombasle
    (1, 2)

    Both feature excellent breast exposure. #1 is by Uco. #2 is from 1983's "Pauline à la plage", by Touch.

    Jennisen Svendsen From deeeeeeep within the Vault of Obscurity...Vidcaps of topless exposure from 1994's "Children of Dracula". All it says in the IMDb about the plot is..."A series of interviews with people claiming to be vampires." No other user comments (or votes for that matter).

    Nadia Vasil Vidcaps showing just about everything from the 1975 French movie "L'Important c'est d'aimer"
    Porn Photo Shoot Scene Also from "L'Important c'est d'aimer"...and yup, there are lots of nekkid people in this image.


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