What do you call a film with absolutely terrible acting from all characters, the merest excuse for a lame plot, one location, and a very grainy transfer?

(Scoopy's guess: The English Patient?)

The answer: Obsession Kills. It is the quintessential bad soft-core:

1. Bad acting
2. Bad plot
3. Both over and under exposed photography obscuring the nudity
4. No pace
5. Tepid love scenes

Lisa Comshaw buys a house in California, and inherits a young couple along with the house. She does some cooking and gardening, he does the heavier maintenance, and gives Lisa wet dreams. His girlfriend, Carrie Genzel is the jealous type. When a private investigator shows up looking for the previous owner, we suspect that some jealous French girl with no French accent (Carrie) may have a way of eliminating those in her way. The reason we suspect that is that they show us in a dream sequence.

Fewer than 5 people have voted at IMDB, and there are no reviews available. Looks like this is a justifiably forgotten film. Why, you might ask did I watch it? It was the breast thing handy this morning.

Here's a new-to-me site with vidcaps and videos, French and otherwise

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, early, since I'll be away a few days. Holiday greetings to all of you, but especial thanks and merriment from the Scoopy's to the following:

1. To all of you readers who have been around since the very beginning. Every once in a while, I get a letter from one of you guys who's been around since the page was on AOL, and I can't believe you've been reading every word we've written for five years, you maniacs.

2. To RDO, spiritual father of so many of us. Back in the early days, some people would cap the common movies with the big stars, but only RDO was out there looking to verify or refute the obscure claims, or uncover the forgotten. Because of RDO's groundbreaking, so many guys (including me) have discovered the joy of finding the obscure bit of flesh in the forgotten film. Thanks also to all you other guys who like to do the same thing.

3. To Tuna, who never misses a day, and has done something like 10,000 spectacular and ever-improving images for us, helps out with UNIX, writes the page when needed, what else is there? And who else would capture The Wizard of Oz and The Music Man? There is no official tally of these things, but I think Tuna is now the fourth most prolific imager in the history of the internet, and he's only been doing it a year and a half! He's produced about 10,000 images in maybe 500 days - 20 per day. In comparison, I've produced about 15,000 under various names, but over the course of about 1800 days (maybe 8 per day), so Tuna should pass me soon. The all-time kings are Scanman (somewhere over 20,000) and Graphic Response (Don't know how many. More than 10,000, less than Scanman). Both of them have been doing it several years.

4. And to PAL - how many years is it now? - always great finds, bright colors, clear caps, something to look forward to every weekend.

5. To Helcrom, who has been contributing for so many years (more than 1000 collages now - about 9 frames per collage!), was the first guy ever to send "signed" material to us, and who is Scoopy Jr's personal hero.

6. To all the other guys who contribute other kinds of material to us, and get no reward other than a free membership, and especially to the guys who contribute exclusively to us: let me mention Brainscan by name, since he's around with pictures almost every day, and writes solid commentary as well. And ZenGuru, who does such gorgeous collages from that runway material.

7. To all the German-celebs guys who have helped build our knowledge of Euro Tv, magazines, and movies. Especially to Blackshine, who must scan, what, a thousand pictures a day? Well, it seems like it.

8. To Charlie and Honte, for their always knowledgeable and astute work in the realms of France, Sweden, and beyond.

9. To TomCat - who sends in so much stuff I can't even keep up with it, and who has come up with some of the best finds of the year, and who gets so many TV stations in so many countries that he must have a satellite dish as big as NASA's.

10. To the other guys who like the same things I like, and look so hard for movie stuff we've never seen before - Mongoose, Schmutzfink, OZ, FR, Snowblind, Snappy Pappy, GR, and others.

11. Our old friends missing in action: Greetings and thanks to Stone Cold, wherever you are, we miss your crazy rants about fucking Hillary Clinton and decorating the crack ho's for Christmas, even though we didn't understand half of what you said. And to Blinky, wherever you are, thanks for educating us on the world of the runways. And to Realist, wherever you are, you created a style that so many have copied (especially me). And to Frodo, wherever you are, for imparting your vast knowledge of babes and their various aliases. To ICMS, wherever you are, I really miss your wit and knowledge of film trivia. To El Kabong, wherever you are, thank you for that trip through the legendary scandals, and for sharing your collection with us. To DB, the king of naked opera, wherever you are, you must be the most unusual imager on the planet, and I hope there is Mozart playing where you can hear it.

12. To Celebrity Sleuth, for the knowledge and humor you bring to us here and in your magazine

13. To ESS and #6 for all that silly crap we laugh at.

14. To all guys who send us stuff.

15. To Snowblind and Lawdog for running the request board and the polls so professionally.

16. And especially to any guys who send material exclusively to us, - many thanks, even if I forgot to mention your name, ....

Today's stuff: I watched Sacrifice. OOPS! Poor co-ordination between me and Tuna, and we both managed to pick a film with no reviews, no votes, and no comments at IMDB. I can't come with any good reason for you to see this odd movie, unless you love Jamie Luner and want to see her very well-toned and highly-freckled body in a dark sex scene. I really like her muscular bod, but frankly, Scarlett, it's too dark to see her body freckles. Half the time you can't even see the ones on her face in the close-ups. I had to do tons of image manipulation on these, and they still stink. It's an odd film - what is it? A crime thriller? A revenge thing? An offbeat love story? A pro-choice polemic? I don't know, but it's poorly lit, poorly transferred to DVD, and very poorly acted except for Michael Madsen, who dependably plays his usual character.

Jamie Luner (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Michele White (1, 2, 3)

Leslie Harter

just for fun, note the footwear that Jamie Luner wears to walk through the swamps in Georgia and Northern Florida.