Thursday

Preserving our precious nudity heritage!

Michelle Pfeiffer

Michelle Pfeiffer did a full rear scene in Into the Night that showed off her beautiful slim booty. Unfortunately, the widescreen DVD has lost the bottom quarter of the image. Here (zipped .wmv) is what those few seconds looked like on the full screen VHS version.

 

Mary Steenburgen

Same deal here. Mary Steenburgen did a full nude scene in Melvin and Howard, and her pubes were seen clearly in the full screen VHS version. The DVD has only a widescreen version, and has lost Fort Bushy, as well as some great looks at her booty.

Here is the full-screen version (Zipped .wmv). Sample caps below.

 

Monica Bellucci

We have seen this scene from La Riffa, Monica Bellucci's film nudity debut, many times in still caps. You just can't imagine how sexy it is until you hear the music and see how her breasts come gradually into the shot. Va-va-voom. Zipped .wmv

 

Best nude scene nominees

It's that time again. We're on the nominating process. Balloting begins the day after Christmas

Here is my list of the scenes which I believe to be valid contenders for best scene. In essence this is my hypothetical list of anything that could possibly be considered the best nude scene of the year. It should include anything which people could possibly pick with their one and only vote. I assembled this list from this longer list. If I have forgotten anything, or if some of the ones on the linked secondary list should make the short list, please let me know by mailing me here.

  • Carla Gallo in Carnivale
  • Monique Parent in Lust Connection
  • Mia Kirshner in The L-Word
  • Juliet Marquis in This Girl's Life
  • Stormy Daniels in The 40-Year-Old Virgin
  • Emily Blunt in My Summer of Love
  • Embeth Davitz in Junebug (??)
  • Alison Eastwood in The Lost Angel
  • Margo Stilley in 9 Songs
  • Olga Kurylenko in L'Annulaire
  • Hélène de St-Père in Peindre ou Faire L'Amour
  • Bryce Dallas Howard in Manderlay
  • Alexis Dziena in Broken Flowers
  • Jamie King in Sin City
  • Carla Gugino in Sin City
  • Alison Lohman in Where the Truth Lies
  • Lori Heuring in 8mm2
  • Zita Gorog in 8mm2
  • Bijou Phillips in Havoc
  • Anne Hathaway in Havoc
  • Anne Hathaway in Brokeback Mountain
  • Jacyln DeSantis in Carlito's Way: The Rise to Power
  • Michelle Krusiec in Saving Face
  • Lynn Chen in Saving Face
  • Joan Allen in Off the Map
  • Jenny McCarthy in Dirty Love
  • Emma de Caunes in Ma Mere
  • Joana Preis in Ma Mere
  • Vera Farmiga in Down to the Bone
  • Felicity Hufmann in Transamerica
  • Maria Bello in A History of Violence
  • Michelle Monaghan in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
  • Kate Norby in The Devil's Rejects
  • Taryn Manning in Hustle and Flow
  • Cameron Richardson in The Good Humor Man
  • Keira Knightley in The Jacket
  • Jennifer Esposito in Crash
  • Rachel Weisz in The Constant Gardener
  • Alison Pill in Dear Wendy

Again, don't write me to tell me I missed a stray nipple somewhere, but DO write if my list does not include the one film you would vote for as the best nude scene of the year.


Other Crap:

Improving Medicare: President Explains Super-Easy-to-Understand Prescription Drug Program to 100% Non-Baffled Geriatrics (WHITEHOUSE.ORG)

"ANGRY SANTA DECLARES WAR ON ARBOR DAY ... Seeks Revenge For War on Christmas, Experts Believe"

REUTERS - Top Pictures of 2005

"Sex can leave crickets legless "

Conan goes topical and takes to the streets, covering the transit strike.

Bet365 has now established Oscar odds

  • Best Picture (all odds to win outright): Brokeback Mountain 1-1, Good Night, and Good Luck 4-1,
    Munich 4-1, King Kong 8-1, Match Point 8-1
  • Best actor: Philip Seymour Hoffman 5/4, Heath Ledger 13/8, Joaquin Phoenix 5/1, David Strathairn 6/1, Terrence Howard 6/1
  • Best actress: Reese Witherspoon 11/8, Felicity Huffman 2/1, Judi Dench 4/1, Ziyi Zhang 9/2, Naomi Watts 6/1, Charlize Theron 9/1, Keira Knightley 9/1, Joan Allen 10/1, Laura Linney 16/1

The trailer and a teaser scene for The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada, the film directed by Tommy Lee Jones

Al Sharpton, who was previously in talks with CBS to star in a sitcom, says he's not interested in being a TV star after all

Billboard Year End Charts

  • Very diverse group. I looked quickly at the top 50 albums and I couldn't see any repeat names except Toby Keith and the late Ray Charles.

Canadian Supreme Court rules: Canadians can have group sex in clubs

  • "The decision does not affect existing laws against prostitution because no money changed hands between the adults having sex."
  • I assume that people pay to join the club, so by the logic of the court's decision, a bordello could become legal by doing the same thing - charging people to enter, but not to engage in specific activities. Same idea as a buffet.

Christmas Tampon Crafts - feminine hygiene has never been so festive!

Roger Ebert's Best 10 Movies of 2005

Dumbest judge ever? Letterman lawyers fight restraining order

  • "Attorneys for television talk show host David Letterman want a judge to quash a restraining order granted to a Santa Fe woman who contends the celebrity used code words to show that he wanted to marry her and train her as his co-host."
  • "Nestler requested that Letterman, who tapes his show in New York, stay at least three yards away and not 'think of me, and release me from his mental harassment and hammering.'"

You long for a home where the buffalo roam? Move to Chesterland, Ohio and check your backyard.

Stalin sought human-ape super warrior

  • Stalin: "I want a new human being, insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat."
  • Well, in a way, he was successful. Russians did learn to live with constant pain and bad food.

Kobe scores 62 points in 33 minutes!

  • "When he left the game, he had outscored the Mavericks by himself, 62-61."

"... the composition was originally called 'The 24 Days of Christmas ... "

"Silly-Ass Skipping" Added to NFL Annual Punt, Pass, & Kick Competition

President Bush Spys on Jude Law Photo Collection

Now we see Fun with Dick and Jane headed down to the right vicinity at Rotten Tomatoes. It's currently standing at 33% positive reviews.

Latino Review has a script review for the remake of Creature from the Black Lagoon! (And it's not lookin' good.)

 

 


Movie Reviews:

Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.

 

 

 

Rock & Roll Frankenstein (1999)

This film is distributed by Seduction Cinema, and because of that I was expecting a weak lesbian softcore film. Instead, I was thrilled to find a campy bad film masterpiece. A sleazy record producer loses his star. Fortunately, he has been funding his perverted nephew's research on body parts, so he comes up with a twisted plan to create a new superstar. He will have his nephew build him one, using body parts from deceased superstars. The stoner road manager and his two roadie buddies acquire the parts, like Clapton's hands, and Elvis's head. Unfortunately, in the process of trying for Jim Morrison's pecker, they end up with Liberace's instead. The procedure works perfectly, and they create "the King" who plays like Clapton, sings and talks like Elvis, and is a chick magnet in every fiber of his being -- except his schlong, which only responds to men. This results in a deeply conflicted "King" and a frustrated manager. Possibly my favorite scene has "The King" going to confession. When he realizes that the gay priest wants him, he takes the huge altar crucifix and shoves it up his ass.

Yes, it is often in areas of questionable taste. Yes, it pokes fun at mores and sexual orientation, but sometimes irreverence can be a great thing.  This is an extraordinarily low budget film based on a really funny idea, and ends up working as a cult classic bad movie.  Although IMDb readers score it a lowly 4.2,  I call it a C+, a bad movie masterpiece.

Joan Gerardi and and Kate Fallon show breasts trying to seduce "The King"

 

Joan Gerardi
Kate Fallon

 

 

 

 

 

Syren in "Best Sex Ever"
 

 


 


Today we can leave the Time Machine parked in the driveway as we take a look at 2005's "The Devil's Rejects". This is a nasty little flick which requires a strong stomach from viewers.

The veteran porn and B-movie star Ginger Lynn Allen kicks it off humping a really creepy guy.

Priscilla Barnes is forced to show her breasts and meets a bad ending with a blade to the boob. "Three's Company" was never like this.

Jessica Helmer - bloody boobs and dead in bed with a creep.

Cute Sheri Moon plays the bad girl, gives just a little ass peek and performs a fully clothed "Babe in Bondage" scene.

One of Scoop's nominees for best nude scene of 2005, Kate Norby, bares it all, and also has a fully clothed 'Babe in Bondage" scene.

 

 




We continue with the sexual splurges of Jane March and Tony Leung in The Lover with this second batch of nine clips.

 (10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

To be continued.

 
For those of you who might wonder what happened to this week's update on Rome, I have bad news. This week's episode had to make way for the 16th edition of the Great Dictation of the Dutch Language in The Hague and was postponed until next week. BTW in that dictation the Flemish won spots 1 up to 4 and after 16 editions Flanders leads Holland 9-7, in case anyone cares.
 
Scoop's note: I dropped a bundle on Het Groot Dictee. I even tried to play along at home, but for some reason I thought "het" should be spelled "the." Anyway, I had five large down on the Netherlands. Damn you, Flanders, and your expert spellers!

 



Kate Hudson shows the disadvantage of being flat-chested. There's nothing to hold up her see-through blouse!  
One more demonstration of the remodeling of Lauren Holly  


Pat's comments in yellow...


TRANSSEXUAL MAY WIN "IDOL" 


She Already Has Huge Balls - The favored singer to win "Germany Searches for a Superstar," the German version of "American Idol," is Didi Knoblauch, who was born a girl but is halfway to realizing her dream of becoming a man.  She's already had a painful operation to remove her breasts but a complete sex change will cost over $70,000 (US).  She's hoping to win the show so she can use her prize money to buy a penis.

* That was Justin Guarini's plan, too.

*  She'll never become a man if she comes in second...Just ask Clay Aiken.



OSBOURNE DEFLATES HER BOOBS 


Sharon Osbourne, who is believed to have spent about $540,000 on cosmetic surgery, is about to have her breasts reduced, just six months after she had them enlarged.  She said her husband Ozzy likes them, but "they're too big.  Honestly, they weigh a lot.  I'm very lucky that I have a good cosmetic surgeon.  I don't want my nipples looking for coins on the street."

*  The way she spends money on plastic surgery, that might come in handy.

 

ELTON 


Police erected security barriers outside Windsor, England's, town hall to
hold back fans expected to show up today for Elton John's wedding, but a
spokesman said the atmosphere is good-humored, and "it's not a major police operation, it's not a royal wedding"

* For one thing, the bride is prettier.