 |
|
|
|
Updates:
Some odds and ends in the new stuff:
SPIRIT TRAP (2006):
A British movie comes along to breathe life into the old
Haunted House genre, which is something of a staple crop in the annual British
film harvest ...
That'll happen someday.
Not today.
This is not that movie. This is the previous one, the one
gasping for breath in the death-throes of the genre.
Spirit Trap one goes directly for the teen audience, placing
university students in a haunted mansion in North London, which is played by
Bucharest, Romania. The students are pleasantly surprised to find a viable
alternative to student housing - they can stay in a magnificent old mansion,
within walking distance of the London Arts campus, for only a fraction of
the cost of a dorm room. None of them finds that suspicious. As you might
expect, they end up trapped in the mansion with the deceased former residents.
Or maybe some of them are the former residents who have lured them into a Spirit
Trap. Or not. Whatever.
Move along, mates, nothing to see here except the very brief
nude scene. It's only a few seconds long, but is pretty damned hot, and is absolutely the best thing in
the film.
SNAKES ON A PLANE (2006):
Of course, I don't always understand the deepest levels of
meaning of these very profound films. Nobody can hope for that. But I think I
might get the point of this one. Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't believe Mr.
Samuel L Jackson is entirely satisfied with the presence of certain colorful and
poisonous reptiles on his jetliner.
And isn't that a metaphor for all of our lives? Viewing our
brief presence within eternity as a plane ride, and viewing each of our
tribulations as a poisonous reptile contained within the cargo hold of our
symbolic plane, isn't the true purpose of our existence to make the best effort
we can to get those motherfucking snakes off our motherfucking plane? I don't
believe Aristotle himself could have summed up the meaning of life any better.
And certainly not more concisely.
All kidding aside, Snakes on a Plane is actually a fun movie. It
manages to function simultaneously as a parody of disaster films and as a
legitimate disaster film. There are plenty of moments played for cheap laughs,
and even the thrills are deliberately exaggerated for a comic effect, but the
battle against the snakes is more than just high camp - there are several scenes
which produce nail-biting suspense if you accept the film in the moment. The
scene where Samuel L blows out the windows of the plane is a helluva good action
scene, if a bit preposterous when you think about it too much. And, let's face
it, nobody does this kind of over-the-top semi-comic action like the great
Samuel L. So you'll get plenty of laughs, ranging from outright farce to subtle
references to other airplane disaster movies, and you'll also get some decent
action and some creepy scares. Best of all, it never gets boring and
repetitious. It's like riding on Disney's Haunted Mansion ride, but at the speed
of Space Mountain.
I expected to hate it, but found it to be a lot of silly fun!
|
Samantha McLeod
|
 |
ALL THE KING'S MEN (2006):
In most calendar years this would be the annual big-budget, overhyped
contender for many Razzie awards, but I really can't see this beating out
another even worse Hollywood remake, The Wicker Man.
And that's a shame, because this is the kind of film that truly
deserves Razzies. It manages to incorporate just about every bad element of
Hollywood filmmaking. Some examples:
1. It's an inferior an unnecessary remake of a film which was considered a
classic.
2. It was cast with stars instead of actors. Tony Soprano, Jude
Law, and Kate Winslet don't even seem to realize that they are supposed to be in
a film about Louisiana. Winslet and Law have rich American "r's," drawn-out and
exaggerated, as one might hear eavesdropping on an imaginary plane between
Minneapolis and Dublin. Law and Winslet not only struggle with their
half-Southern, half-Midwestern accents, but their character interpretations are
shallow and boring, although those characteristics seem to be Jude Law's
specialty, now that I think about it. Of all the major actors in the film, only
Patricia Clarkson sounds like she's from any place on the globe within 500 miles
of Louisiana. And she probably would have found a way to screw up the accent for
this movie except that she actually is from Louisiana and it just came pouring
out.
3. The central performance is all strutting arrogance with no
emotional core. Sean Penn, normally a fine actor, turns in a performance of such
superficial and theatrical bombast that it would embarrass Bill Shatner. Richard Burton,
in his foulest and most drunken condition, had more subtlety than this. Forget Burton. It
must be the hammiest performance since Arnold the Pig was featured on Green Acres.
In all fairness, though, I have to say that the film is more interesting when
Penn is on camera than when the focus shifts away from him to the subtler, but
also more boring, Jude Law.
4. One word: voice-over.
The film never achieves a moment of sincere, poignant drama
except when Dr Lecter is on screen. Hopkins didn't make any effort at all to
sound like he was from Louisiana, but he did understand that the story needed
emotional resonance, and he tried to find the human center of his character.
Unfortunately, he lacks sufficient screen time to carry the film. Worst of all,
the film is a tale filled sound and fury, signifying nothing. After all the
histrionics and bluster and melodrama have evaporated into the closing credits,
we come to realize that the film didn't have anything to say, or even an
interesting way to say nothing.
| Kate Winslet did a nude
scene, but showed nothing.
|
 |
THE DEAD GIRL (2006):
The Dead Girl is deadly serious - a quartet of stories about
people whose lives have been affected by the actions of a serial killer. It
features an ensemble cast delivering various dark and somber oh-so-important
portrayals of people in crisis. It will be released on December 29th to attain
Oscar eligibility.
With all three attractive young women in the cast (Kerry
Washington, Brittany Murphy, and Rose Byrne), and three fairly attractive mature
actresses (Mary Steenburgen, Toni Collette and Marcia Gay Harden), I was
delighted to see that the film was rated R for nudity, so I watched it.
It turned out to be quite a shock for me. The nudity came from
the seventh female member of the cast. I never would have dreamed that the
nudity came from Mary Beth Hurt, an acclaimed sixty-year-old actress who has
gone through an entire distinguished career without showing so much as a single
boob!
Until now.
Oh, the eyes. They sting.
| Mary Beth Hurt
|
 |
THIRD PARTY VIDEOS:
BEST NUDE SCENES of 2006:
Balloting is finished
OTHER CRAP:
Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.
MOVIE REVIEWS:
Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe). White asterisk: expanded format. Blue asterisk: not mine. No asterisk: it probably sucks.
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
DEAD CALM (1989)
Unfaithfully Yours (1984) is a Dudley Moore comedy.
Is anyone still reading?
For anyone those few of you still paying attention, he plays a famous
symphony conductor married to the much younger Nastassja Kinski. Through a
comedy of errors, he comes to believe she is cheating on him with his best
friend. Kinski plays a beautiful actress, and it's hard to believe that she
would be interested in the much shorter and older Moore in the first place, so
it's easy for the audience to believe she's cheating on him, and just as easy
to believe that he also thinks that. He sets about killing her and her
supposed lover in his normal drunken inept mode.
Kinski looks wonderful, and the supporting cast is fine. The film looks
good technically. The whole problem is Dudley Moore's same-old signature
character, the loveable drunk. For my money the Arthur films represent the
pinnacle of drunken Dudley Moore cinema, so this is an inferior drunken Dudley
film. Add that to the fact that drunken Dudley films are near the bottom of
the cinema food chain anyway, and this can't be better than a C-.
IMDb readers say 5.6.
|
|
|
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Otras dos películas del especial de Eloy de la Iglesia, en ambas películas se
entre mezclan el tema de las drogas, el sexo, el terrorismo y la política a
principios de los años ochenta el País Vasco, España.
Two more films from the salute to Eloy de la Iglesia. In both films one will
see a mixture of sex, drugs, terrorism, and the volatile Basque politics of the
last eighty years.
Español
Sinopsis de "El Pico" (1983): Bilbao. El Comandante
de la Guardia Civil, Evaristo Torrecuadrada, descubre que su hijo Paco
de 17 años, y del que espera su próximo ingreso en la Academia Militar,
es heroinómano. Al propio tiempo observa su íntima amistad con Urko,
otro muchacho, asimismo heroinómano, hijo de un dirigente abertzale.
Paco, por las diferencias con su padre, huye de casa con una pistola
reglamentaria del mismo. El Comandante inicia su búsqueda ayudado por
los compañeros de Cuerpo, que utilizan los medios a su alcance para
cumplir su objetivo. El Teniente Alcántara, experto en estupefacientes,
será uno de los elementos más destacados en esta búsqueda. El Comandante
de la Guardia Civil comienza a descubrir un mundo que ignoraba por
completo. El padre de Urko le ayuda de alguna manera a descubrirlo. Sus
principios, su vida, su lucha, entran en una profunda crisis, agravada
por el desarrollo de los acontecimientos.
Sinopsis de "El Pico 2" (1984): INOPSIS: Paco, hijo del comandante de la
Guardia Civil Evaristo Torrecuadrada, se ha visto envuelto en Bilbao en
el asesinato de una pareja de traficantes de heroína. Los esfuerzos de
su padre por apartarlo de la droga y ocultar las pruebas del crimen se
revelan inútiles cuando la prensa cae sobre la noticia. El joven será
detenido, procesado y encarcelado en la madrileña prisión de Carabanchel,
donde experimentará en carne propia los rigores del sistema
penitenciario, y volverá a caer en la droga. Cuando recobra la libertad,
gracias a las maniobras e influencias de su padre, Paco se verá incapaz
de reinsertarse en la vida "normal", y preferirá asociarse con un
compañero que ha conocido en la cárcel, y dedicarse a la delincuencia de
nuevo.
|
English
Synopsis of “El Pico”
(1983): Bilbao. The Commander of the Civil Guard, Evaristo
Torrecuadrada, discovers that his 17-year-old son, soon to enroll in
military school, is a heroin addict. At the same time the commander
observes his son's intimate friendship with Urko, another boy, also a
heroin addict and the son of a leftist leader. Because of the tension
with his father, Alpaca runs away from home. The Commander initiates a
search for his son, aided by his colleagues. Lt. Alcántara, a
narcotics expert, will be one of the key elements in this search.
Assisted by Urko's leftist father, the Commander of the Civil Guard
begins to discover a world that he had previously ignored completely.
Spurred by the developments of this search, he comes to question all
the principles and causes he had once embraced.
Synopsis of “El Pico 2” (1984): Alpaca, son of the Commander
of the Civil Guard, finds himself involved in the murder of a pair of
heroin dealers in Bilbao. His father's efforts to break him of his
heroin addiction and to hide the proof of the crime turn out to be
fruitless when the press falls on the news. The young man becomes a
prisoner in Carabanchel prison, where he will experience in person the
harshnesss of the penitentiary system, and will find a way to sustain
his drug habit behind bars. When he is freed, thanks to the
machinations and influence of his father, Alpaca never be capable of
re-entering normal life, instead associating with his jailhouse
companion, and again entering the underworld.
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
Today would be an all Barbara Crampton day as
the Time Machine heads to the 80's to visit with a woman who was always
willing to take off her shirt.
First we have Barbara in this brief humping scene in "Body Double."
 
Then opposite a very handsome man in "From Beyond". Ain't love grand.
|
|
|
|
Notes and collages
The Supernatural Ladies
|
Amanda Bearse and Irina Irvine in Fright Night |
|
- First, Bearse shows major pokies in the vampire make-up
- Then a nosy teenager finds that his topless neighbor is a vampire.
- Then Bearse in her underwear without the make-up. She was Marcy in Married
With Children.
I recommend this modern classic vampire spoof
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Outer Limits: Ep. THINK LIKE A DINOSAUR
A lone space station technician must cohabit with a lizard-like alien
species to learn its complex technology for long-distance space
travel.
The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Anne Hathaway stars as Andy Sachs, an aspiring writer who interviews
for a job as an assistant at the fashion mag "Runway" because she has
hit the wall trying to land work at a newspaper. What Andy doesn't
realize is that she is applying to work for the ice queen Miranda
Priestly (Meryl Streep), the magazine's editor-in-chief. The first
meeting is not pleasant, with everyone on her staff, from Miranda to
#1 assistant Emily (Emily Blunt) to art director Nigel (a hilarious
Stanley Tucci) making no bones about how terribly unfashionable Andy
is. But Miranda hires her despite these horrible flaws in her
character. Andy, of course, is completely unprepared for what a high-
maintenance lunatic Miranda is about her job, but being smart and
resourceful, she finds a way to survive, even when it means scoring a
copy of the manuscript to what will soon be one of the biggest selling
books of all time. The catch, of course, is that in order to become
good at her job, she has to forget about having any semblance of a
social life, much to the chagrin of boyfriend Nate (Adrian Grenier of
"Entourage"). Matters are made worse by the conniving Christian (Simon
Baker), an established writer who can help Andy land her dream job -
for the right price, of course.
|
|
|
|
 |
|
Dany Carrel in Une Souris, from
Melaninis
|
|
 |
|
|
|
 |
|
