"A Festivus for the rest of us!"
                  -Frank Costanza

Here are a few links reminding everyone about this great Holiday.

Watermelon Man (1970) was the successful first feature from Melvin Van Peebles which netted him a three picture deal with Universal, which he abandoned to make Sweet Sweetback's Baad Asssss Song. I saw it when it was first released in the theaters, and it was rather revolutionary in showing a black perspective. While I enjoyed re watching it, it is now very dated. The attitudes portrayed are no longer surprising.

Godfrey Cambridge is a blowhard insurance salesman with a wife and two kids and living in a nice suburban home. All that changes when he wakes up black. His wife leaves him, the neighbors buy him out to move out of the neighborhood, the sexy Swedish Secretary at work, Kay Kimberly, who has always ignored him, now wants his body, and he finds life as a black man much different than it was before.

It was written as a comedy, and before Peebles came on board, they were going to have the lead played by a white man, and the ending would have been a wake up and it was all a dream thing. Peebles suggested that, because the lead spent most of the film as a black man, and needed to understand "being black," that they should cast a black man. He also felt the original ending was a copout.

Kimberly shows breasts, complete with implant scar, buns and a rear gyno shot in a sex scene. IMDb readers have this at 5.8. Estelle Parsons, as Cambridge's wife, was nominated for a BAFTA. Even though it is still dated, it is a very quick watch and has a few chuckles. The transfer is excellent. C+.

Other Crap:

• From the Gay and Lesbian Online Shopping Mall Action Figues with Penises! Dude, no offense, but I think that He-Man guy should have had a different nickname. Skeletor? Hung like a Rhino!
• The gubernatorial race in Washington State keeps getting crazier.
  • The Dems now claim that their candidate won by eight votes, and they just got a favorable court ruling on some late ballots which are expected to expand that margin. The craziest thing is that the current governor remains the legal governor until a successor is certified, but he wants out on January 12th, which could leave the state with no governor at all.
  • If they need a temp, I think Gray Davis is available.
  • Now that I think about it, forget that suggestion. The "no governor" option is probably better than Davis.
• Here's the somber, loud, and extraordinarily self-important official site for The New World, that whole wacky Terrence Malick, Colin Farrell, Christian Bale, Pocahontas thing. Includes many stills, a trailer, and a bombastic sound track.
• Four pictures of Charlize as Aeon Flux
• The telephone industry will be all about television next year. TV over your home phone line. TV on your cell phone.
• The official site for MISS CONGENIALITY 2: ARMED AND FABULOUS. (trailer and poster)
  • Regis Philbin was the best thing in the trailer. I like Regis OK, and he is funny in this clip, but if you're making a movie and Regis is the highlight, you need to think about a new profession.
  • Writer Marc Lawrence has the ultimate specialty - he's Sandra Bullock's personal comedy writer. He's written exactly three scripts in the millennium - all of them Sandra Bullock comedies. In the case of that Bullock film with Hugh Grant, Mr. Lawrence also directed.
• Robert Blake's neighbors accuse him of being a poor actor.
  • Whoa. That's a crime? In California, of all places? No wonder their prisons are overcrowded.
  • And yet Greg Kinnear roams the streets, a free man.
  • I understand they have to maintain one whole prison just for the cast of Surviving Christmas.
  • If the Packers have any games in California, Bret Favre better hope the DA hasn't seen There's Something About Mary
• The trailer for Swimming Upstream. "Swimming Upstream tells the compelling and inspirational true story of Tony Fingleton, a young man from a troubled family who found the inner strength to become a champion. Based on Anthony Fingleton's novel of the same name and set in 1950s Brisbane, Australia, Swimming Upstream stars Jesse Spencer as Tony, a young man who beats the odds to become a champion swimmer in spite of his overbearing, alcoholic father (Geoffrey Rush) and long-suffering but quietly heroic mother (Judy Davis). Overshadowed in his father's eyes by his brothers, it's only when Tony displays an extraordinary swimming talent that he feels he has a shot at winning his father's heart - and maybe even Olympic gold."
• Dodgers pull out of Randy Johnson trade.
• Jesus of the Week
• Baseball writers t-t-talkin' about the Hall
• Mexican city bans indoor nudity: "tramples on the rights of the citizens by taking laughable measures such as contemplating penalties for citizens who walk around nude inside their houses."
• Justice Department lawyers are seeking judicial permission to destroy about 63,000 copies of the controversial 'Ghettopoly' board game, which has been criticized as a racist takeoff on the classic 'Monopoly.
• Jacko's Thriller video, re-enacted with Legos. My God, is there nothing Legos can't do? If Gilligan had been marooned with a few Lego kits, the professor could have built a full sized 747.
• Rumor says Uma will replace Kidman in The Producers
• Intelligence Reform: Statement by the President Prior to Signing Legislation Improving America's Defenditude Through Sweeping Ensmartenizing of the Intelligenciary
• That compassionate Capt. Hawkeye Pierce? An evil villain?
• Madonna burst into a profane tirade in front of a group of children during rehearsals for her 1991 Oscar appearance. Ah, what the hell. After reading the story I pre-ordered the book. Sounds like my kind of stuff.
• A fight broke out in a New York nightclub after a man accidentally doused Bjork with ice. You'd think that wouldn't bother her much. It was probably just a tribute. After all, she is from ICEland.
• Pamelamania. Lots of pics of our favorite surgically-enhanced Canadian MILF.
• For those of you with WAY too much time on your hands, cast your vote for the Playmate of the Year.
• Rumor #1: The next Electronic Arts football game will not feature the likeness or name of John Madden.
• Say what? Stan Lee's POW! Entertainment and Celebrities in Action will turn celebrities into animated superheroes. So if they make Affleck a superhero - let's call him Jawman - will Ben Affleck have to play the part in the film adaptation, or could it be played by someone else? I suggest Edward Burns, unless he and Affleck are actually the same guy.
• Mr. Marcus XXXmas Party Set For Wednesday Night. Gosh, here it is Wednesday, and my invitation wasn't in today's mail. Just a clerical error, I suppose.
• GALLUP: Public's Evaluation of Iraq War Grows More Negative
• The submitter wrote: "Yeah, I have a thing for Fear Factor girls. "Megan" was a contestant on the $1 Million couples show. She will also be featured in the Feb 2005 issue of the Bunny Mag along with other Fear Factor Girls" The page includes two topless pictures.
• Twenty 'offbeat' stories which offered an insight into human nature in 2004. ... "offbeat stories which offered an insight into human nature" is the official news euphemism for "fucked up shit"
• Letterman's "Top Ten Signs You're Not The Most Popular Guy In Your High School, presented by Napoleon Dynamite"
• REVENGE IS SWEET... HOW TO GET EVEN WITH AN EX!
• The Weekend Warrior says it's Meet the Fockers all the way. I reckon he's right. The fact that the movie bites the big one will have no impact on the first weekend, because its predecessor was a $166 million Box Office smash, so it has a built in audience and is opening on 3500 screens. The second weekend? That might be a different story.
• This week's movies: Darkness - 40% positive reviews. Horror movie of the haunted house variety, starring Anna Paquin and Lena Olin. Some genre buffs liked it, but it will get minimal distribution.
• This week's movies: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou - 48% positive reviews.
  • "Why is it that so many people think this filmmaker is the voice of their generation? Is their generation that vacuous?"
• This week's movies: Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera -43% positive reviews. Still no reviews for the competing Mickey Spillane version.
  • "On the boards 'The Phantom of the Opera' was bloated kitsch; now, thanks to Schumacher, it's hysterically bloated kitsch."
  • "The screen version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical lacks both authentic romance and the thrill of memorable spectacle."
  • "Like overpriced costume jewelry, this tasteless, soulless contraption is sure to appeal to anyone who owns Celine Dion and Meatloaf albums."
• Trivial Pursuit - the all Saturday Night Live version.
• This week's movies: Meet the Fockers - 31% positive reviews. I guess you could have predicted that from the trailer, which induced cringes. If those were some highlights, you can imagine what the low points are like.
• Roger Ebert's 10 Best Films of 2004. As usual, he includes an assortment of big and small, domestic and foreign. I was disappointed to see him leave Eternal Sunshine off the list, but very pleased to see him list the immensely entertaining, passionate, and informative (but low budget) Baadasssss! The page also includes Roger's ten worst films of 2004, and all of his old lists dating back to the Jurassic period. I was relieved to see Dogville make his ten worst list. It would have made mine as well.
• This week's movies: Fat Albert -17% positive reviews.
• This week's movies: The Aviator - 86%. Martin Scorsese's Howard Hughes biopic. General critical consensus: maybe not his best movie, but probably his most entertaining.

Other Crap archives. May also include newer material than the links above, since it's sorta in real time.

Click here to submit a URL for Other Crap

MOVIE REVIEWS:

Words from Scoop.

.avi's from Shiloh.

.wmv files made by Scoop from Shiloh's .avi's.

NOTE: because of a unique combination of circumstances with the Windows media player and some substantial bandwidth theft, we will have to do all of our movie files in zip format. Left click on the files as you normally would to view a picture. When you get a choice, click on "save", and put it on your hard drive in the directory of your choice. UnZIP and play from there.

I know this is not especially convenient, but it allows the film clips to continue. I can protect .zip files from hot-linking in the same way I can protect still images. For some reason, if I protect .avis and .wmvs from hot-linking, they will not play in the Windows media player, and I can't get a satisfactory work-around. Perhaps I will find a better solution, but for now this new policy allows you to continue getting the movie clips you want to see, which is much preferable to my abandoning the clips altogether.

Perhaps these tips will help if you have trouble with the codecs for these movies:

Shiloh says:

FYI when I hypercam vids to make the file size smaller I use DivX MPEG-4 Fast-Motion for the video compressor, then I use virtualdub to compress the audio. The properties for the vids says the video codec:  DivX Decoder Filter & audio codec:  Morgan Stream Switcher which I'm not familiar with. When I compress the audio with virtualdub I use MPEG Layer-3.  A friend of mine told me about compressing the audio about (6) mos. ago. Like I said previously, only been capping for a year & a half & I'm no expert. Hopefully this info will help members with the proper codecs for my vids.

 

When I cap big brother's I use hypercam mostly & sdp & asfrecorder if the set up allows me. I stopped using camtasia cause the file sizes were always too big, could never figure out the process, over my head lol, plus it cost too much to buy in my opinion.

A reader says:

You mentioned that some users were having trouble with the videos on your site. There is a tool designed to determine what codec is needed for a video. http://www.headbands.com/gspot/ Hope this is useful to you or your users.

Scoop says:

I made the .wmv versions of each video. The codecs for these: Windows Video V8, Windows Audio 9. The upside of these is that you know the codecs, and they'll play in the Windows Media Player. The downside is that they are slightly larger, and slightly lower quality.

Words, pictures, and vids from ICMS

Lassiter (1984)

I don't think this movie needs much of an introduction. I'm referring to Lassiter (1984), starring Tom Selleck, Jane Seymour and Lauren Hutton. Lucky for us Tom keeps his clothes on, but Jane Seymour, Lauren Hutton and Belinda Mayne can be seen in various states of undress. Please don't ask me why these native English speaking actors are so fluent in Italian, maybe because they were on Italian TV?

• Jane Seymour clip 1 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Jane Seymour clip 2 (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Lauren Hutton (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)
• Belinda Mayne (.wmv zipped, .avi zipped)

First up from the Ghost today...part two of his visual review of the Skinemax movie "Exposed" (2003). Today's batch features B-movie regular Amy Linday having plenty of pseudo sex. Toplessness every where, plus a bit of bum in #3 and some pubes in links 17 and 25.

• Thumbnails (1, 2, 3)
• Amy Lindsay (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)

Next up, video clips (zipped .wmvs) from the wonderful indie comdedy "Free Enterprise" (1998). A must see for Trek/Shatner fans. Click here for the Scoopy.com review

• Audie England, briefly showing breasts in a hot tub love scene.

• Lori Lively, in #1 we see a breast view. In #2 we add brief glimpses of the other two B's (from the deleted scenes). (1, 2)

• Stacy Rosman, topless in another deleted scene. You may have seen this busty B-babe in "The Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless" or "Bare Wench Project: Uncensored". (1, 2)

Last but not least from the Ghost, here are a few video clips (zipped .wmvs) from the off beat movie "The Road to Wellville" (1994), starring Anthony Hopkins, Bridget Fonda, Matthew Broderick and John Cusack.

• Bridget Fonda shows her breasts in a bathing scene.
• Lara Flynn Boyle also shows some toplessness. Compared to her current weight, she is down right chunky in these scenes. (1, 2, 3)

Victoria Haas
(1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

KIRSTIE SIGNS WITH JENNY CRAIG
Food So Expensive, You Can't Afford To Eat - Kirstie Alley, who is set to star in a new Showtime series called "Fat Actress," has signed as the new celebrity spokeswoman for Jenny Craig weight loss centers. Alley said once she decided to lose weight, she had offers from four companies, but went with the one that was the safest, most fun and had the "yummiest food." She said, "I had a great time getting fat, and now I'm going to have an even greater time losing weight."