Porky's II: The Next Day (1983) has to be one of the worst sequels in movie history. It picks up where Porky's left off, and still takes place at Angel Beach High School with most of the original cast. Porky is absent, as is Lassie and the young coach. The film has two sub-plots. First, is playing practical jokes on each other, and the second is fighting a local politician, a corrupt preacher, and the KKK, who are trying to stop their production of Shakespeare as obscene.

The sxposure comes in one of the practical joke scenes. Peewee hires a Carny hoochy coochy dancer (Cisse Cameron) to get even for the Cherries Forever stunt in the first film, but the guys are too sharp for him, and pay her more to get Peewee, by pretending to want his body, then having a heart attack in his arms. We see buns and breasts in a lengthy scene.

The film is rated 3.8 of 10 at IMDB. It had none of the inventiveness or comedic timing of the original, the cast was too old by this time to play post grads, much less High School students, and the film never gained any momentum. D-.

Happy PostFestivus

Back with more movies tomorrow:

Other crap:

• RetroCrush presents a RetroChristmas of pin-up babes
• URL says it all: www.colonblow.com
• Catherine Zeta-Jones is one horny woman
• an interesting scientific article written about Babe Ruth in a 1921 edition of Popular Mechanics

Kournikova watch:

Day 3. Christmas depression. Still no call from Anna about our date. On the other hand, she's Russian, so Christmas is January 7th for her.

Here are the latest movie reviews available at scoopy.com.

• The yellow asterisks indicate that I wrote the review, and am deluded into thinking it includes humor.
• If there is a white asterisk, it means that there isn't any significant humor, but I inexplicably determined there might be something else of interest.
• A blue asterisk indicates the review is written by Tuna (or Lawdog or Junior or C2000 or Realist or ICMS or Mick Locke, or somebody else besides me)
• If there is no asterisk, I wrote it, but am too ashamed to admit it.

• Natascha McElhone, co-star of "The Truman Show", "Ronin" and the dreaded "Solaris" doing full frontal nudity in "Surviving Picasso" (1996).

• Rachel Ward, brief breast exposure in 1990's "After Dark, My Sweet".

Be sure to pay Graphic Response a visit at his website. www.graphic-barry.com.

'Caps and comments by Brainscan:

Kelly Monaco (April '97) in "Late Last Night". Kelly plays a Playmate who is the object of the protagonist's fantasies. I'll avoid the usual snide comments about how this role must have stretched Dame Kelly's acting talents and say that in all honesty she did a creditable job. Only part of the movie I liked. Hooters throughout in close and clear exposure.

Oh, a word of warning. Charlie Sheen Lite (aka Emilio Estevez) is the protagonist so his mug comes into view in the later collages.

• Kelly Monaco (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

Reagan Wilson (Oct '67) in "Blood Mania". Sent in some caps of her earlier in the week but saved the best for today. Ten collages, three scenes, hooters in all of them.

• Reagan Wilson (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Shannon Tweed (Nov '81) in "Naked Lies". Been done before by better folk than I, but what's a Hefmate flood without Shannon Tweed?

• Shannon Tweed

The infamous Teri Weigel (May '86) in "Cheerleader Camp" (1987). Hooters only, but this was the phase in Teri's career after she'd had probably the best augmentation surgery ever done and before she went all grosteque on us.

• Teri Weigel

Terri Welles (Dec '80) in "Looker" (1981). This was one wierd-ass movie, a Michael Crichton effort, so it's fair to call it the Jurassic Park of evil mind control and plastic surgery sci-fi films. Terri shows boobs as part of a pre-surgery photo-shoot (the make-up artists elongated her nose cosmetically and then, poof, took the prosthesis away to make her look oh so much better). By the way, Terri's hooters defied gravity (collage 1) and she looked real good in a teddy (collage 2) but this, ladies and gentlemen, was the highlight of her acting career.

• Terri Welles (1, 2)

Ursula Buchfellner (Oct '79) in "The Manhunters". An awful movie. 'Caps came from a copy of a copy but they show the strikingly beautiful Ursula all frontal and stuff.

You know Ursula was a real beauty, and she seems to have made lots of movies in Europe but I don't have access to them. Since I've noticed the German cappers are the best in the business I was wondering if maybe, you know, one of them could like, you know, cap those movies. Huh? Please.

• Ursula Buchfellner in "Manhunter" (1, 2)

• Ursula Buchfellner full frontal and topless poses. (1, 2)

Vicki Peters (May '72) in "Blood Mania" (1970). Same story as with Reagan Wilson: sent in some caps of her earlier in the week, but these are more and better.

• Vicki Peters (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Batting clean-up is the amazing Victoria Vetri (Sept '67), also in "Group Marriage". Victoria is seen from behind, getting into bed, and then sitting in hed, head and chest above the covers, for maybe 20 minutes. Well, okay, more like five. That's great for live-action, but for caps it gets redundant as she moves little but her head. So I grabbed enough frames to fill eight collages, the last seven of which show VV's natural wonders.

• Victoria Vetri (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

Well, that's it for another holiday. Already planning New Year's Day and then Arbor Day and then Ground Hog Day (for that I guess I'll just send in the same scan over and over and over again).

Lastly to my fellow readers of the Funhouse, let me wish you Happy Holidays, with the heartfelt hope that we all meet up here every day for another year.

Back to some "Babes in Bondage" for today.

We take a look at 1965's "Monsters Crash the Pajama Party". This little epic did not have any screen credits at all so what we have is a group of unknown nightgown clad cuties being menaced and chained up by a mad doctor and a gorilla. Light hearted fare which was more of a comedy than anything else.Yes, the girls are rescued by their boyfriends.

• Unknowns (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

A little extra today and something we have not done in a while...Here are a couple of montages of "Babes in Peril" from detective magazine covers from the sixties and seventies. For us old timers a fond remembrance of days gone by.

• Detective mag covers (1, 2)