Saturday


Notes
NOTE TO ALL: Scoopy Jr writes the bulk of the commentary these days, while Uncle Scoopy continues to add his daily column, Contact junior by writing junior@scoopy.com. Contact Scoopy by writing unclescoopy@msn.com. Contact Tuna by writing tuna@scoopy.com Send submissions to scoopy@scoopy.net

Books
Videos
DVD
Electronics
Search by keywords:
In Association with Amazon.com
Use this search device to seek additional information from amazon.com about any of the books or movies you read about here.
Tuna

"Rancho Deluxe" (1975)

Rancho Deluxe (1975) is a delightful western comedy about two cattle rustlers in modern Montana. It is not so much that they are criminal types, as that they have found some traditional role to play in the West. Jeff Bridges and Sam Waterston play the rustlers. The cattle they shoot (and carefully carve with a chain saw) belong to the ranch owned by former beauty shop owners (Elizabeth Ashley and Clifton James). The love interest for our rustlers is two sisters (Patti D'Arbanville and Maggie Wellman). The exposure comes from D'Arbanville, who did a lot of nudity early in her career, as she has extended and energetic sex with Jeff Bridges under a tree. When the rancher hires an aging range detective (Slim Pickins), who arrives with his niece (Charlene Dallas), our "heros" have their work cut out for them. Throw two stupid ranch hands into the mix, stir well, and you have a fresh, funny comedy that reminds me in tone of Northern Exposure in that it doesn't take itself overly seriously.

D'Arbanville demonstrates 3 attributes that are hard to miss. She has two huge nipples, and can act. She has 50 credits at IMDB, and started acting when she was 17. Music is by Jimmy Buffett, who also appears in the film. Maltin gives this one 3 1/2 stars, and IMDB readers have it at 6.6/10, which is high for a comedy. The transfer is very grainy, which made for difficult capping, but it is good enough for watching. Put this on your list to rent.

  • Thumbnails

  • Patti D'Arbanville (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

    "Animal Attraction" (2000)

    Animal Attraction (2000) is a direct to video soft-core morality play. It is not listed on IMDB, however the star, Stephanie LaFluer, is. You may remember her from I Like to Play Games Too, or Sexual Chemistry. Most of the exposure in the film was of her. The film is better than a lot of soft-cores in that the plot is ok, the photography is good, the transfer is excellent, the acting is nearly acceptable, and the director created something watchable.

    Stephanie is married to a bar owner, and is feeling neglected because he is working so hard to make the business successful. She envies her three friends, who she is sure all have a better sex life than she does. One night at a party, she tells them she would gladly trade places with any of them. As the saying goes, "be careful what you wish for." She wakes up having traded with one of her girlfriends, and discovers that this husband is having an affair with the maid. She wakes up with a different husband each morning, and discovers that she had the best mate of the bunch after all. If you are in the mood for a good quality mindless boobfest, this is a good choice. I almost wish there was an Unrated or even a XXX version.

  • Thumbnails
  • Thumbnails

  • Stephanie La Fleur (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
  • Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy)
    I looked at Trixie, the awful Alan Rudolph film which single-handedly destroyed my high opinion of Emily Watson, and also managed to drag Nathan Lane down a notch or two. Nick Nolte kinda sucked as well. Might be the worst use of great talent since The Betsy. No female nudity, but a quick peek at Watson's aureola.

    Note that Nick Nolte is now Ted Baxter.

    Emily Watson


    .... and Human Traffic, a British film about the wild weekends of ravers, set in Cardiff in the 90's.

    Lorraine Pilkington (1, 2, 3)

    Dann's version of Lorraine


    A few capsule summaries of new releases with no nudity or nudity restricted to the unnamed extras.


    The Art of War - a Wesley Snipes action film about a conspiracy to prevent a UN treaty. 23% positive reviews, as per Rotten Tomatoes. The general consensus was that it had an excessively convoluted plot, unrealistic action scenes, and was the same-old-same-old action pic of made-for-vid quality. I haven't seen it. The captures are from Dann, and the nudity comes from an extra.

    Art of War Babe.


    Race Against Time -speaking of made-for-vid, here's Eric Roberts again. In an undefined future, he's a dad who sells his own body for spare parts in order to save his son's life, only to find that his son dies anyway. In the original deal, he got $300,000 to buy medicine for his son, but had to turn himself in 365 days later. When his son died, he wanted to welch on the deal, and the medical corporation didn't agree, so they send some "trackers" to get him. No nudity plus Eric Roberts - I think you know what to do.


    Down 'n Dirty - I have a nominee for a new Oscar category - worst movie ever to inspire a sequel. In 1991, aging star Fred "the hammer" Williamson made an eminently forgettable film called Night Vision, in which Fred and Cynthia Rothrock teamed up against the forces of evil. A decade later, Fred is back as the same character - Detective Dakota Smith, now off the sauce that got him assigned to traffic duty in th earlier film, but still in trouble with the force because he has stayed clean in a dirty world, and all the dirty cops want to bring him down. This time his muscle is Bubba Smith instead of Miss Rothrock. This film is slightly better than the original, which was riddled with non-sequiturs and continuity errors, but you may still want to take a pass. The nudity comes from an extra.

    Down 'n Dirty babe


    In the Mouth of Madness- John Carpenter's 1995 adaptation of various H.P. Lovecraft stories. A "what if" - what if Lovecraft's own works were not fiction, but were written by monsters in his subconscious, and if every word were true? The "old ones" plan to re-enter the universe through the power of the author's words to create madness in the readers. Quite a few creepy scares, but no nudity. I think this would have been an excellent horror movie, except:

    1) they tried to picture the abominations of the Lovecraft universe in lingering well-lit shots. The scene where Sam Neill is being chased in bright light by a bunch of cheesy monsters with tentacles was actually laugh-out-loud funny, not horrifying. They needed to draw more on the power of suggestion rather than to picture the rubber monsters.

    2) they needed to hire some real actors. Sam Neill was fine in the lead, but the rest of the cast was about at high school acting level, except for Julie Carmen, who was worse.

    Not a critical fave. Berardinelli and Ebert gave it two stars, Maltin 2.5.

    It did score a respectable 6.3 at IMDb, quite high for a genre pic, and it obviously has fanatical followers, judging from the comments.

    Oz
    Barbara Carrera
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    These are caps from Embryo, a 1975 sci-fi movie. Unfortunately, the quality of the movie was not the best and neither are the caps. Some of these have appeared before. The movies stars Rock Hudson as a scientist who created Barbara. Unfortunately, she didn't last, but she looked very nice whilst she was there.

    Jenny Sullivan

    Unknown

    "Getting Straight" is another 70s movie starring Elliott Gould. The two girls pictured were his students, something that would be severely frowned upon nowadays. Unfortunately, we don't hear the name of one girl, nor is she credited and the scene is dark. Jenny Sullivan doesn't show much, just a little cleavage.

    Kari Wuhrer
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    Gail O'Grady

    From the VH1 movie "Lip Service" aka "Out of Sync". This was probably inspired by the Milli Vanilli fiasco. Kari Wuhrer is a wannabe singer who has slept her way to a recording contract. However, she can't sing and doesn't know it or want to believe it. Gail O'Grady is 'discovered' by the recording engineer and is used as Kari's voice. Kari thinks the change in her voice is because of the 'filters' - her brains are in her silicone. Things go wrong when she wants to do a live performance. The ending comes predictably. No nudity, just some nice caps.

    Claudia Karvan Claudia is an Australian actress, although has done some work overseas. She plays an athlete who is seriously injured and the movie, Never Tell Me Never, deals with all the issues confronting her. It's only the briefest exposure.

    Tara Jakszewicz A lot more exposure from Tara. This is another Australian movie set during World War 2. Quite a few Italian prisoners of war were based in Australia. They were considered low risk as they didn't want to fight in the first place and were billeted out to farmers as labourers. This movie is the story of one of them.

    Mariola Fuentes "Torrente, the Stupid Arm of the Law" is one of those European productions in which you don't like any of the characters. Torrente is a private detective. Mariola is a prostitute and gives a bit of exposure.

    Jenny McCarthy

    Yasmine Bleeth

    Cheerleaders
    (1, 2, 3)

    From "Baseketball". No real exposure in these caps. Baseketball is a movie about a game invented that is a combination of baseball and basketball. I never understood what the rules were but I enjoyed the movie. There is some nice cleavage from Jenny McCarthy and Yasmine Bleeth. There is also some see through exposure of the cheerleaders. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait until DVD caps come out to see them at their best.

    A couple of things about "Baseketball"....1.It's one of my all time favorite movies. 2.It is on DVD, but only for the US and Canada, sorry Oz. 3.In the cheerleader 'caps you may recognize Linda O'Neil and her implants in a hooters-type outfit.

    Holly Gagnier

    Kari Wuhrer

    Lisa Drew

    From "The Undertaker's Wedding" Another set of caps without any real exposure. There's only some nice cleavage from Kari Wuhrer, Lisa Drew and Holly Gagnier. Can't remember what the movie is about - I'm starting to dig up some old 'caps
    Schmutzfink
    This week's theme...French babes

    Brigitte Bardot Partial nudity from the 1962's "Le Repos du guerrier"

    Corinne Clery A little bit of everything to see in these 'caps from 1991's "La Partita". The topless exposure is ok, and it looks like a hint of pubes as well. However, very best exposure is of her bum.

    Irina Demick Cleavage and partial nudity from 1969's "Porta del cannone".

    Valérie Kaprisky
    (1, 2)
    Everything is visible except for close ups from the gyno-cam. Vidcaps from 1984's "L'Année des méduses".
    and ...
    Alyson Hannigan
    (1, 2, 3, 4)

    WOW! here's the the "Buffy" and "American Pie" star looking incredible in these scans from the latest issue of the UK FHM. Thanks to Yuccaman.

    Amber Smith
    (1, 2)
    Anna Levine

    3 more from Blackshine from Francesco Scavullo "Nudes".

    Kirsten Dunst Playing a stripper, but of course she doesn't take her clothes off. Aussie sent in these 'caps from a movie called "Luckytown Blues". I've never heard of it until now. Apparently this puppy debuted at the Hollywood film festival in August, then was quickly exiled overseas.

    Mena Suvari From "American Beauty", by SBS

    Jana Straulino Nice breast exposure from the German "Das Psycho-Girl", by Celeblover.
    Who the F is She?
    A follow up for Sisyphus' identity questions from Thursday edition. The ladies have been identified as:
  • Paulina Porizkova
  • Claudia Mason
  • Carmen Carmen
  • Carmen Kass


  • Click Here!