Thursday

A Dangerous Man

2010

The New Year is here a bit early for us, with our first 2010 film. (Or maybe it's already 2010 for you if you are reading this in Australia.)

As it happens, this is yet another Steven Seagal film with exactly the same plot as every other Steven Seagal film made in the past ten years. Just choose any of the following choices in parentheses below and you will be writing your own Seagal movie.

Seagal is a former (super cop, special federal op, special forces warrior) who has to leave the position because (he is unjustly accused of something, he refuses to obey a dishonorable order, he won't "play ball"). Disgraced and having lost everything dear to him, he works outside the law as a free-lance tough guy, ostensibly a mercenary, but willing to take only those jobs which conform to his own highly developed sense of honor. Inevitably, he ends up siding with some hopeless (Russian, Mexican, poor black American, Asian) underdogs against some corrupt (Russian, Mexican, rich white American, Asian) forces who seem invulnerable until the Pudgy Paladin stands against them, at which point they may as well head off to Vegas and lay down a big bet against themselves because the big fella is about to rain down fists and bullets on them at a rate they cannot begin to imagine.

No matter that the baddies possess more weapons than the U.S. armed services and an army as large as the entire population of India. No matter that big Steve has only his giant pudgy hands and a rag-tag group of untrained and poorly armed misfits beside him. Any sensible drug lord, corrupt cop or white slaver facing the Chubby Combatant should immediately stop ducking the calls from his life insurance agent and sit down for the dreaded complimentary coverage review, because he is about to enter a world of pain.

This particular version of the by-the-numbers story represents the second collaboration between the Stout Soldier and director Keoni Waxman, following 2009's The Keeper. The Keeper is rated 8th of the 34 Seagal films with an IMDb score, and A Dangerous Man has not yet been rated as I write this. Having seen just about every one of Seagal's movies, I'd rank the two Waxman films a bit lower than #8 on the Seagal totem pole, probably right around the mid-point, but that's just splitting hairs, since all Segal's films seem to have the same script. Who knows? Maybe these new ones are above average, and I'm underrating them because I'm tired of seeing the same thing again and again. 

Nudity:

Seagal's films almost always include a small amount of nudity, and this is no exception. Aidan Dee, as Seagal's former wife, appears topless in flashbacks or dream sequences or something.  Whatever these scenes are, they are not in the film's reality, but somewhere in Seagal's mind, either remembered or imagined.


For those of you who missed it:

 

  • * Yellow asterisk: funny (maybe).

  • * White asterisk: expanded format.

  • * Blue asterisk: not mine.

  • No asterisk: it probably sucks.

OTHER CRAP:

Catch the deluxe version of Other Crap in real time, with all the bells and whistles, here.

 

 

 

 

 

 


Raw Justice

1994

We go back 15 years for a young Pamela Anderson showing off the tits in the forgettable "Raw Justice." Caps and a clip.

 

 

TV Land

Over in TV Land yet another MILF Connie Britton from "Friday Night Lights" appearing on the 'Today Show". Caps and an HD clip

 

"Satisfaction"

(s3, e4 - the latest episode)

 

Renai Caruso film clip

 

 

Pics

Jenny Agutter in Logan's Run in HD

Suzan Crowley in Born of Fire

Josie Maran braless and beautiful

Meg Ryan is not aging well

Jennifer Aniston inadvertently flashes a bit of coochie while filming a comical scene.

 

Film Clips

Diana Gomez and Adriana Cabrol in Eloise (2009). Excellent scenes.

Theresa Russell in Straight Time

Valentina Vargas in Street of No Return

Malou Reymann in Se min kjole (scene pictured to the right)

Milla Jovovich in Chaplin (scene pictured to the right)

Moira Kelly in Chaplin (scene pictured to the right)

Diane Lane in Chaplin (scene pictured to the right)